Tuesday, December 9, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR

HO! HO! HO! Dolan crew.I hope this finds my favorite Nova Scotians fat,happy and prosperous.As I hope you all know,the "Trip of a Lifetime" ended 12/10/2008.Please read my last entry in the blog for you guys set the tone for the whole trip.What an unforgetable reception you provided upon my arrival.A stranger arrives on your doorstep(none stranger than me),and you open your arms to a colonist from the heathen state of Georgia.I could have been an inbred axe murderer looking to do a "Dahmer" on you one at a time.But!!! You took your chances.You let me sleep in your beds.You let me eat your food;drink your liquor;swill your Coke Zero,lust after your women;touch your woodies,and unbelievibly surf your secret spots.Did you go mad?As a paranoid capitalist raised on the rule "more is not enough",I realized that I had died and gone to heaven.I just never thought that you got to heaven driving a 1950 Plymouth woodie painted flaming desire red north of our border into Canada.I am so spiritually niave! I heard the Dalai Lama say just the other day that Karma is achieved through cruising a 350ZZ4 north to south off the Interstate highways.I never knew the dude was a gearhead;but hey! he's the Dalai Lama.He can drive whatever he wants.On a more serious note,my hemmroids are no longer inflamed.That in it self makes this trip miraculous.Healed by driving into Canada.No wonder you guys love your healthcare system.Is it always so efficient?Another thing that happened is I am now addicted to fish oil.I am free basing the stuff.I moved beyond injecting fairly quickly;it was hard getting those capsules through the needle and into my arm.Kevin,since you got me hooked,could you smuggle a few kilos over the border the next time you come stateside.I will meet you in the usual alley in Boston.Don't worry I got the immigration people and Boston cops paid off.Call me with instructions on how you keep fish oil lit while free basing.The only side effect,so far,is I cannot walk by a fish tank or aquarium,or the fish display at the local super market without diving in or rolling in the display.That's a small price to pay for the incredible pleasure it brings me.Kevin,I am so grateful to you! Another miracle created by my celestial journey north to Nova and south to Scotia was my new ablity to forecast beautiful surf.It is infalable.As soon as I leave a place,the waves go off.The locals worship the departure of the "Red Woodie".They gather by the hundreds and cheer and wave when I leave town.I feel so loved and blessed to know the joy I bring by departing.My life is so full of flatness and high pressure systems that my cup overflowith.I am estatically blissful to have been allowed into your little piece of Heaven.I have converted to Canadaism,and will forever wander the Earth wearing nothing but a Maple Leaf.Hope you see me soon!Yours with the Waves,Ralph

Posted via email from Surfer Ralph North to South

1 comment:

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